14 Now the Spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him.
23 Whenever the spirit from God came on Saul, David would take up his lyre and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.
-1 Samuel 14, 23
The past week my mind as been rattled with fear, sorrow, and an endless pit of questions pertaining God’s love for me, his church, his creation.
WIll the Holy Spirit leave me? Has my sin changed my course? Am I saved? Why do I continue to let God down? Why can’t I just be patient? Why do I have to do things my way? Will God listen if I work hard enough? Yeah… One of those weeks.
Through the 1st Book of Samuel God has revealed major catalyst for my faith.
Before Christ death on the Cross, God’s spirit moved as it pleased for its purpose. The Holy Spirit could not tolerate sin and loved to dwell with the righteous. As we see in the 1st book of Samuel, God moved often according to plan, folly and pure motives. This brought a disturbing fear to me. I have done more wrong than good? Will God leave me? I quickly turned to the word, and THANK GOD he will not. 2 Corinthians 1:22 states that his spirit is now a deposit, guaranteeing our soul on the day of salvation. But… Why was Saul chosen? He was a man not looking for kingship. He was a peasant, a simpleton. A man that had felt the pleasure and unmatchable power of God now spends the rest of his life in utter torment, hatred and a jealousy of unfathomable depths.
It says that Samuel grieved for Saul often after the Lord’s favor left him. Even a prophet had a hard time with this. Saul had a choice to win or sin. BOTTOM LINE, he sinned (1 Samuel 13:8-15). Samuel said “If you fear the Lord and serve and obey him and do not rebel against his commands, and if both you and the king who reigns over you follow the Lord your God—good! But if you do not obey the Lord, and if you rebel against his commands, his hand will be against you, as it was against your ancestors.” (1 Samuel 12:14-15)
Saul had a chance to redeem Israel. Not only did he not, but God had other plans outside of Saul’s failures to raise a king after his own heart. Rest assured, Jesus Christ conquered death and will not abandon those whom he has saved.
I have many thoughts about all this and quiet frankly do no even know how to express all this in such short words but simply this:
To the Christian, NEVER take for granted that the precious Holy Spirit that will NEVER leave you. Christ died once for all, and left his spirit with us until the day we die; for guidance, protection, wisdom, council and most importantly, an unbreakable seal, only to be opened by God to reclaim not only his spirit but ours as well.
The story of Saul is heartbreaking to me. It’s a great lesson that sin can not only grieve the Holy Spirit, but also quench its desire for good of my life, even though I am sealed in the book of life.
In my darkened hours tormented by evil, I pray with my guitar, reaching out to David’s psalms inspired by God, asking and singing in spirit,
“Won’t you stay long? Won’t you sing your song to me? Oh, David stay long.”
Music is powerful, But God is bigger. Let worship of God heal you, however that looks.
Promise of salvation verses:
2 Corinthians 1:22
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